On My Mind: Good Grief
“Everything was going well until that November night.”
Nov. 8, 2018 broke Yountville’s heart.
The daughter of a Yountville native and his wife, a freshman at Pepperdine University, was fatally shot while line dancing with college friends in Thousand Oaks, California.
Alaina Housley, 18, the only daughter of Arik and Hannah Housley, was among the 13 people, seven of them college students, who died that evening after being shot by a heavily armed, 28-year-old U.S. Marine veteran (shooter’s name omitted with intention).
As I remember it, the news spread rapidly throughout Yountville by word of mouth, saying that Arik and Hannah were unable to reach Alaina after they learned of the shootings and were already on their way to Pepperdine, the university where the couple originally met and from which they both graduated.
That afternoon the worse-case scenario became reality. The Yountville Community Center Plaza spontaneously attracted mourners who lit candles and attempted to console each other.
Arik’s friend from Yountville Elementary School, then our undersheriff and now Napa County Sheriff Oscar Ortiz, drove Arik, Hannah and Alaina’s younger brother home from Pepperdine.
Hundreds attended a public memorial service for Alaina at Vintage High School, her alma mater, on November 18.
Our familiarity with this thoughtful, intelligent, talented and beautiful young lady grew. We learned that she loved to read at a very young age. When she was 5, she asked to play the piano. In middle school she played the violin and piano. At Vintage High she sang in the chamber and concert choirs, played soccer, coached youth soccer and enjoyed tennis. She had been accepted to Pepperdine’s Mock Trial Team.
Her friends remembered her fondness for ice cream, dark chocolate and telling the longest stories ever.
The Housleys founded Alaina’a Voice Foundation in honor of their late daughter to support education, music and mental health initiatives in Napa County.
In October 2025 Arik’s memoir titled “Always November — Lessons in Love, Loss and Resilience” was published.
Since then, he has become a widely sought-after speaker about what he calls PTG: post traumatic growth, grief and resilience built on his own story.
“Housley’s journey shows that even unimaginable grief can become a catalyst for growth. ‘Always November’ is a powerful testament to transform pain into purpose, inspiring others to choose resilience, love and hope, even in life’s darkest moments,” commented author Jon Gordon.
I find this story of “grief gone good” inspirational, and I admire the Housley’s courage to transcend “unimaginable grief.”
